Sunday, February 8, 2015

A letter to my ex husband

Dear Ex Husband....

Not sure if you realize it but ten years ago our marriage ended. My hopes and dreams for a whole and perfect family died that day.

A lot has happened between us during those ten years, some of which I would like to apologize for.

Let me say this first, I can forgive you of the hurt you caused me but I am not sure I can forgive you of the pain (seen and unseen) you caused the boys. You have said many times they are ok but deep down they are not.

There is a saying, "hurt people hurt other people" and that is what I set out to do. I wanted you to hurt they way I did. I wanted you to know how it felt to have your hopes, dreams and love destroyed. I wanted you to pay the ultimate price on leaving me and our boys.

I am sorry for saying that I got to keep the family in our divorce, they are your family and if they welcome you back then I will step away gracefully. I love them more then you will ever understand, they played a huge role in keeping me together and loving on the boys when you were not able.

Your dad took me in and made sure the boys and I were always ok. He always wanted what was best for them. And I fight everyday to keep his spirit alive in them and I try to keep my promise I made to them that they would be men just like him.

When I met you at 19 years old, you were so driven. You knew what you wanted and when you wanted it. I think in some ways I killed some of your dreams. And for that I am sorry.

I regret pushing you into getting married. But we had been together so long that it was time to either get married or go our separate ways. Also know I am sorry for pushing you. But our marriage did give me/us two wonderful gifts from heaven.

We did have some great years, lots of laughs, adventures and there was some love.

Please know I want nothing but happiness for you.

Your ex wife

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San Diego, CA, United States