Isaiah and lesson learned

When I broke my ankle and had to lay in bed I often thought what is God trying to teach me right now?? To slow down? To take my time? To read more? To pray more? To ask for help? I think the answer came way of a preemie baby named Isaiah. He was born at 26 weeks and was not expected to make it. His Mother is one of the many loves of my life and I wanted to be there for her when she gave birth but due to the ankle I couldn't.

Isaiah blew everyone away, he is thriving! The only worry was the possibility of blindness. When we found this out we got the prayer warriors to work. This past week we finally got word that his optic nerve is small and the tissue around it is as well...so this mean he will have vision problems but will not be blind!

My lesson learned is that I cannot stop praying and that when God says he has it handled I need to believe it.

Isaiah, I love you to pieces and cannot wait to watch you grow up!

New Year...Goals

So here is it...2011! My gut is telling me this is going to be a great year! I feel so at peace, but those you know me I am always looking for the shoe to drop. But I have to stay positive and look forward not back!

I rather think of my New Year's Resolutions as goals so here are my goals:

~Start a single parent ministry at church. I have had this on my heart for sometime and its time for me to get this into action. This goal scares me more then anything! Not only do I have to lead but I have to be vulnerable to those I am leading.

~Lose 20 more pound by June. I have a high school reunion in June and a wedding in July to attend. And besides those two events, I need to feel good and be healthy. Need to work out more and eat my veggies and fruit!

~Keep to a budget and live within my means. I was once told my a very wise women (my ex. mother in law) that there are needs and wants. The wants I have to save up for! So, I want a new car so gotta save up for one!

So that is my only goals, short and sweet.

One of my best friends says to me every year, "New Year, New You" and I think about that all the time. I am who God has designed, now I just have to live the life He intended me to live and what I am doing with my life is not what He wants.

So here is to 2011 and the shoe is not going to drop, it's going to be a GREAT year!

Week 26 - WOW

This is me last Thanksgiving......

This is me this Thanksgiving...about 16 pounds lighter and I can see a difference in my face and my hips. I am so excited about this transformation that I am going through. Today I weighed in and to date I have lost a total 20.6 pounds. I would have liked to been a little more a head then I am right now but that is ok, this is a life style change not a race.

The great thing about losing this weight is I feel great, I feel like anything is possible....my dreams and wishes can come true. This is something that I have to keep telling myself....God has been telling this to me all along I just didn't want to hear it.

Half way to my goal, now just need to work on some of the dreams that I have!

Am I becoming my Father?

When I was seven years old, my Mother passed away. We were not expecting it and it came as a shock. My Mom was pretty amazing, she made dresses for me from a pattern she would make, she cooked amazing and baked pies. She made life fun, she loved my brother and I endless. My Father was not prepared for this, he never cooked or did anything around the house. Truthfully, he was cranky all the time! 

He tried and there was times he was a great Father, but what bothers me most about my Father is two things: he lives in a could of should of world where he blames others for his life circumstances and that he has no friends.

I don't think I live in a could have should have world, but I do blame others for my life. And I am really starting to wonder about the friends thing. 

I don't want to be a cranky old lady, I want to live in the moment and celebrate all that God has given me. I want to celebrate life's ups and downs with my friends and family. 

I am worried though about becoming him, I don't want my children to be distant, I want tons of friends that I support and they support me. 

God....please allow me to continue to fill my life with joy, allow me to feel the graces you have given me. Let me life in the moment and not in the past. Amen

Week 20 - TrueFaced

Well yesterday would have been 20 weeks of my weight loss journey. I have to say despite laying in bed all day and not really doing anything....I am losing weight! I can feel it, my clothes are getting to big which feels great but when you have to get around on crutches all day it becomes hard to keep pulling my pants up!

During my bed time, I am trying to read many of the books I have not been able to get to. One in particular I have been waiting to get at and its call "TrueFaces" trust God and others with who you really are. Wow pretty powerful stuff. Here are a few things that I have underlined in the book, something I am working though myself!

-Our motives direct what we value and how we act
-We will only please God and become godly when we trust God
-If my motive is Trusting God, then my value will be Living Out of Who God Says I Am, and my action will be Standing with God, with My Sin in Front of Us, Working on It Together
-We value striving, because we trust our own assessment  of who we are instead of God's
-If we do not start  with trusting who God says we are , we will end up trusting our own resources to try to please God. This kind of self-sufficient mindset nauseates God
-Humility escorts us to grace...Humility requires trust
-Pride shuts grace down

And I am only a few chapters into the book. I am loving it! For years, I have had dreams and because those dreams did not come true I would put on a mask to hid the shame, the quilt and pretending that everything is ok. Not everything in my life has gone to plan, my dream man ended up to be a nightmare. My big and beautiful home has turned into a three bedroom home that needs to be painted and cleaned. My attempts to be a great mom have fallen short! But with God standing next to me and helping me see that many of my dreams have come true and showing me...yep you have sinned...what are we going to do to not to sin again?

I knew God had something for me when I fell down the hill!

Week 19 - view and other thoughts

So this has been my view the past 11 days! I am already tired of being in bed, tired of lugging that thing around with crutches. But God has a reason for this time in my life. The reasons that come to my mind right away is that I need to accept help from others (hate it), need to get the men (my dad and the boys) in my life to step up and see all that I do for them.  Both have not really happened, my dad is helping to a point and the boys have been great to a point. But I need to get them all to do things. I should be in bed but I have to get up...to help with laundry and cook.....ugh

So this would have been my 19th week of my weight loss journey...while I have been watching what I am eating, I am not counting my points and I am not working out. I still feel like I am losing weight...strange I know. I kinda do get a work out when I have to lug this cast around.

I am looking forward to the next 30 or so days in bed, can't wait to see what lessons God has for me.

And it all came to a stop

Well my weight loss journey came to a crashing halt on Saturday. Or should I say a tumbling crash! I took a tumble at a Cross Country Meet and ended up breaking a bone in my ankle, not only a break but I shifted my whole ankle to one side! I am in a cast and have to use crutches, and do not have the ability to drive! UGH!!!

I have to keep my foot elevated and stay in bed so working out, taking the dog for a walk it out of the picture. On the bright side, using the crutches I have to do a little core work and my arms are getting a work out.

I am not going to let this stop me from eating healthy!

I have a stack of books to read that I have been wanting to get to. I have my bible to study and a computer to play around on. Things could be worse I guess.

The one big down side to all of the this is that my butt is killing me!!!!