June

First off let me say, this blog is difficult to write. In fact, I am embarrassed as a Mom to write it. But I believe that if anyone reads my blog will see this and know my feelings.

So, it is June. June is a month for weddings, the end of the school year and graduations. I am not getting married and the school year ends next week and I will not be watching my youngest graduate from High School. This was his graduation year, his Senior year. The year where parents get to let out a sigh of relief that their child has reached another milestone in life. But my son decided to drop out of high school with less than 5 months left. My son decided he was an adult and he can make decisions for himself.

Let me back up a little, in the middle of his junior year we decided that he would leave traditional high school and move to a charter school. This would allow him to work at his own pace and catch up on the classes he was failing. If he worked hard he would have graduated early. Well that plan back fired on me.

He is a super smart kid, GATE student, loves politics, loves a good argument and loves how things work. He is just lazy! From the time he was in the second grade, getting up in the morning was a fight and getting homework done was World War 3. I tried everything under the sun to get that kid to do his homework...he just wouldn't do it. And then high school was a real treat for me, just to get him up and out the door on time was a real struggle.

He has no plan right now, he does not realize that his opportunity for a career gets smaller and smaller each day he goes without getting his GED and some kind of schooling.

I have always told my boys that I expect them to go to college, but college is not for everyone. I just wanted them to gain skills that will help them get a job and have a great life. I want them always to do the best that they can.

Every time I see a picture of a high school graduation, I cry...I cry because this is one milestone my son will never have. Not sure if he understands how much harder life will be without a high school diploma or a GED.

I feel like a failure as a mom and  I feel like I have let him down in someway.

Sad that I will not get to hear his name called in front of hundreds of people. Sad that I won't get to see my handsome son in a cap and gown. Sad that his life will be hard.