Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Letting it all go

For some reason, I go on daily to check to see if any child support payment was made. For some reason, I think the ex. husband is going to wake up out of his dream and remember he has children that need more then his being around, they need love, support both physically and financially and they need him emotionally. For some reason, I think I am going to find Mr. Perfect in one of those chance meetings like you see in the movies or read about. For some reason, I think my dad is going to move out of my house without me asking. For some reason, I think I am going to be ok.....

I have to let it all go, like a wave sweeping over me while playing in the ocean. I can't resist it, I need to let it take me wherever I need to go. Letting it all go gives the control back to God. I can't control the ex. husband, I can't control when Mr. Perfect will come into my life, I can't control....well when my dad moves out I can control...I think. The only thing I can control is me.....breathing in and breathing out...letting my tight grip go...and releasing.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Return of the boys

The boys were both gone last week on school trips, one to camp and the other to Washington DC..sadly neither one wanted to come home. When I asked them why they both told me the same thing: Grandpa.

My dad moved in over a year ago with the intention of staying a few months until he found a place of his own. He is still here! And I can't take it anymore! He has no relationship with my brother and has some kind of relationship with his brother but I am all he has. I am the only one left in his life that he has not pissed off. Well he is on the verge of it with me. He rolls his eyes about church and my faith. He does not like the way I am raising my boys, he hates when the ex. husband is here and I can go on and one. He never leaves the house, I have offered to get him a gym membership and he does not want it. ugh...

When I found out when the boys were leaving for his trips, I told him that I needed him to leave for a few days that week. I need time alone in MY house. He didn't leave.

So, how do I get him out of my house? I am not the type to just be upfront, I am a beat around the bush kind of gal.

It's sad that the boys are not building a relationship with him like most grandchildren do, they just don't like him. They don't respect him. I tell them they need to but they remind me that he does not respect me or what we do as a family.

I am glad my boys are safe in their beds, I did miss them even though they did not miss me.

How did this blog go from the return of the boys to one about my dad? ugh! time for bed!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Deadbeat Dad

So, I have been divorced or seperated now for four years. When I filed for divorce I filed at the same time garnishment paperwork for Child Suppport. Well to date the jerk owes me close to $19,000 (and that is not including the child care expenses, school, sports and medical expenses)! That is a down payment on a condo, that is an amazing trip to Europe, that is a sweet down payment of my dream car, that is so many things!
In California you have all child support cases go through a department of the courts. I called them today to see what is going on...well the jerk has his licensed suspended (great..he has been driving my kids!), they are going to take any taxes he is owed (he has not filed in 5 years), they are getting ready to take any money he has in his bank account. And if he goes 12 months without paying anything then he is going to be held in contempt of court and could go to jail.
How hard is it to make sure you kids are taken care of? I know there are not that many jobs out there, but hell if it was me...I would be flipping burgers, waiting tables, doing anything I could do make sure my kids got some kind of money.
I could take him to court now and try to get full legal and physical custody of the boys and press the courts to put him in jail now...ugh!
How can he look me in the eye or his boys and know he is not doing what he needs to be doing for his children?
His dad is looking down from heaven and is sad by his son actions!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

My ring finger ring finger itches sometimes...could be just that it itches and nothing more. When I was married and wearing my wedding rings, it would itch sometime the skin under the rings would peel (gross I know). I use to take it as a sign that something was wrong with my marriage for my finger to itch so bad. After my divorce, I would think that the itching was meaning that someone was coming into my life soon. At times, I look at my ring finger and I can still see the indention where my rings are. That is there to remind me that I am not going to settle anymore for anyone!

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San Diego, CA, United States