Monday, December 23, 2013


Yesterday,  I listened to two different messages at two different churches, and they both had a very similar theme to them.....Hope.

In the NIV version of the Bible the word Hope is mentioned a 159 times (it must mean something to God if it is in there that many times), the definition of hope is to want something to happen or be true and think that it could happen or be true,  to cherish a desire with anticipation, to expect with confidence.

Hope is a powerful thing! Hope allows us to see past our present situation, Hope changes us, Hope gives us joy, Hope gives us courage and Hope frees us!

It is such a tiny word, only four letters long and when you say it does not sound harsh.

I believe in Hope, I believe that Hope is going to bring me an amazing 2014 and beyond. I believe that Hope will get me through any situation.

Brooke Fraser's CS Lewis song sums up Hope very well for me:

"For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming"

Believe in Hope....its coming for me and for you!!

Friday, December 20, 2013


I wrote a blog about Christmas back in 2011 and I found it strange that I am still feeling the say way about Christmas.

I have not have that magically Christmas spirit in 2 years! I am starting not to be a big fan of this holiday. I started thinking about why I don't like this holiday anymore.

Money has been tight for the past two years and this year is even worse. Not working for six months has depleted my savings account, unemployment has to last me two weeks and I have to pay bills out of this upcoming weeks payment. I hate the idea of going broke for one day. I love celebrating the birth of Jesus and I love being with family but I can do those two things at any time.

The other reason why this holiday gets me down is that the boys are getting older and they do not like to do the same traditions we did when they were younger. The excitement of Santa coming is not there any more. They usually know what they are getting which ruins the magic.

I usually have these grand ideas for them for Christmas but they are usually just an idea because I can't afford it.

And I think the crux of all of this is I set such high expectations for everything....Christmas expectations that they will want to make cookies for Santa, they will want to go look at Christmas lights, they will want to go to Church and they will wake up and sneak into the living room to see what is under the tree and check the stockings.

I wish I can believe in the Magic of Christmas again and I need to stop with the grand expectations.

ps...we did get a only has lights on it

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Confessions of a Fat Lady...part 10

Didn't go to my usual meeting this week but did weigh myself at home and I stayed this same which I wonder if I really lost because my scale at home is not always right.

This week I have been thinking about what I put in my mouth, when I put it in my mouth and why.

Breakfast usually consists of toast and hot chocolate. Sometimes a muffin or cereal. And then sometimes I eat nothing. Lunch is a sandwich or a quesadilla and once in a while cottage cheese and fruit. Dinner is always a protein, side dish and veggies. And then there is my daily intake of snacks.

I will eat all day long if I could, I love to snack. This could be good and bad, I am always full but is what I am eating good for me? If you are a snacker you should be snacking on fruits, veggies and proteins. I snack on crackers, popcorn, dry cereal and cookies...see no good!

The why is the comfort, food does not judge me, food does not tell me I am doing things wrong. Certain foods just make me feel good....mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and homemade desserts.

I plan our dinners but don't plan the other meals....might have to plan my breakfast and lunch....

Hoping for a good week...but then again...its going to be Christmas and we eat all day long!!!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Confessions of a Fat Lady...part 9

So this week I am down .4, not a lot but it is something. It was a stressful week and I am surprised I lost anything. This past week was full of stress and peace, it was strange! I was stressing about my financial mess and was in peace for being in my house alone for a couple of days (this does not happen often so I love it when it happens).

I was thinking of canceling my Weight Watchers membership because it is an expense I don't want to take one at the moment. But then I had to step back and think I am worth it, I am worth the money it costs for it. It is my time despite not having a lot of money at the moment.

One of the things we talked about today was Hedonic Hunger....eating for pleasure not for fuel or for energy. We all know I LOVE TO EAT GOOD FOOD!! So I am for sure eating for pleasure not for fuel for my body. I have to find away that I can eat for fuel that satisfies my wanting to eat for pleasure. Need to eat slower, need to eat for my health and find away to make it all yummy!

So here is to another week of taking care of ME, taking care of this body God has given me. I know if I am not healthy I cannot do the will of God.

Gotta keep step at a time.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Confessions of a Fat Lady....part 8

Thought I was doing pretty good this past week and then I go weigh in and I only lost .2 pounds. I have been watching what I am eating (even at Thanksgiving), my walking partner has been making sure I walk each night and I have been painting the inside of the house. I believe this week lack of weigh loss is from stress.

I need to keep moving, keep thinking of what is to come.

Short post this week...hopefully next week I will feel less stressed.

About Me

My photo
San Diego, CA, United States