Sunday, June 21, 2009


Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32.

Words I need to keep on my heart. The anger I have built up inside of me is starting to eat me alive. Anger that can slowly turn me into the woman I do not want to be, the women I am scared of becoming. A women who is more consumed with getting even the looking at all of the beauty around her. A women who rather knock someone down then try to help the one down. This is not who I need to be.

To be able to forgive is a path that many do not want to go down, when they don't it eats them alive and then they start to live in a 'could have...should have' world. This is my world at the moment...I could have left before the wedding....I should have never let him home. This is all part of my history, the part of my life that is shaping me into the women God thought of when he made me for my mother's womb.

How do we forgive? Can't we just confess the anger? Do I have to go to the person and tell them I forgive them? What if we could never forgive? Are there things that people can do to us that we can never go down the forgiveness path?

On some levels I have forgiven him for the cheating, for the lying, for the deception. At the surface level...I can never forgive him for what he did and is doing to his children. Not being a dad is unacceptable.

How does this forgiveness work? I need to figure it holds me back so much

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San Diego, CA, United States