Sunday, May 10, 2009

I hate Mother's Day

When I was seven years old, my Mom passed away. It was the saddest day of my life, as time went on the memory of her has faded but there is still a hole in my heart. When I got married she was not there, when I gave birth she was not there. But I know she was in my heart.

I started to hate Mother's Day after she passed, in school they would have us make projects for our Mom's and I would not do it. The teachers would say make it for someone special in your life but I didn't want to. I have had a very special women in my life she is my mom but not by birth and not by marriage but out of pure love.

When I gave birth to the boys, Mother's Day got a little better. There would be family get togethers and lots of love. But since my divorce, I started to hate them more. I don't get gifts from my kids, no cards..sometimes a project made at school. No breakfast in bed, no special treatment. I told my boys the only gift I want each year is for them to come to church with me, this way I feel like a special mom a mom that is loved by her children. They have not done this for me.

My oldest is a great kid and is always thinking of me before himself, kinda like me. My youngest is the one I have the hardest time with. He cannot do anything for me, he can't clean his room, he can't bring the dirty clothes out of his room to wash them, he cannot help with things around the house, he only wants for himself. I don't know what I did wrong, I loved him the same as his brother, he gets a lot of things and a lot of my time. No matter what I do for him its not enough, I feel at times he does not love me, that he hates me. I don't know what to do.

A friend of mine, her boys brought her breakfast in bed today. She is so lucky.....

No comments:

Post a Comment

About Me

My photo
San Diego, CA, United States