Well....here I am again..I gained one pound this week! What is my problem? Why do I continue to do this to myself? Is there a reason why I insist on eating poorly? This is something that I cannot figure out! I will have a great day of watching what I am eating, walking or going to the gym, and giving myself a small treat for doing well...then the next day I am eating whatever I want, not going to the gym and giving my self a large treat for being a fatty!
At today's meeting we talked about making a why list instead of a to do list....why do I want to lose weight?
-To feel better
-To have clothes that fit well
-To feel attractive, to be desired
-Not to feel like a blob
-To reverse the damage I have done to the body God has given me
I journal during meetings and I wrote this down "you have to want it....do I really want it?" Of course I want to feel attractive and desired, of course I want to feel better and have better health. But what in the hell is stopping me? I am stopping me!! I am stopping me because its comfortable to eat what I want. It is safe not to feel attractive and desired...that way I can't get hurt by another man again.
There is only a few things in life we can control....and one of them is what we put into our mouths and the other is bodily functions. I know God is in control of everything else but I control what I decide to put into my mouth. I have to gain control of this food addiction I have.
Tomorrow is a new day...a new day to try again...a new day to start over....
Wish me luck!
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