How did I get here?

I have been out of work now for 8 months, yes the first month or two felt like a vacation. Heck I had been working since I was 17 years old with the only breaks being having babies and one break between job (lasted only two months). I have been searching, applying and praying for a job for 8 months.

In December the federal government cut long term unemployment benefits leaving 1.3 million people without benefits. Leaving 2.3 million children without support as well. I never thought of myself of as a political advocate but the last few weeks I have emailed my State Senators, my House Representative urging them to approve the unemployment benefits. I tell this story to anyone that will listen and urge them to tell the story of 1.3 million people and urge them to contact their State Senators and House Representatives.

There are some that say that unemployed people just use the system and do nothing to help their situation...well I am here to tell you I have applied to 140 jobs, I have applied to 2 temp agencies and have looked high and low for a job.

The lack of money coming in has shown me that there are people who care about me, my father is helping, my hairdresser is coloring my hair for free (don't want to go to interviews with grey roots) and I have the sweetest couple I sit next to at church who sneak money into my purse while I am not looking.

All of this has lead me here.....to a place of desperation, to a place so low that I cannot see the light but I hang onto HOPE....hope for something to bend in this process, hope for the government to do the right thing, hope for a new job that will lead me out of this place.

God and I have fought a lot lately, I tell him I doubt his power in my life, I tell him his is a hack and that he does not care for me and my family. But each morning when I wake up, I have a worship song playing in my head...His way of telling me He is with me....but I am still angry at Him.

Yesterday, I sank to a place I never ever say myself going into....the Welfare office. I never saw myself going and seeking this type of help. But what else am I to do? I had to shed the pride of being better, more educated than the people in there...wow that was tough.

There has to be an end to all of this....I have to hold onto that...have to hold onto HOPE....

If you are reading this....please pray for the 2.3 million children who's parents are in the same spot I am in....pray that our government does the right thing for 1.3 million out of work people...and lastly pray for me that an opportunity comes my way...